I can’t forget thee now.
In happier days I saw thee fram
(sic)
Across
my lonely way;
Thy life became the morning
dream
That
tells of coming day;
Full long in that bright dream I
dwelt
With
gay unclouded brow;
Ah! Me, the bliss of heaven I
felt,
And
can’t forget thee now.
The gloom of fate’s unpitying
frown
Is
on my spirit cast
My star in darkness has gone
down,
My
best of life is past;
But though the seas overwhelm me
quite.
And
hid my sinking prow-
I love thee mid this awful
night,
And
can’t forget thee now.
Though other charms may brightly
woo,
My
heart to feel their power,
And other hearts may bless them,
too,
In
youth’s warm passionate hour,
On me their rays shall gently
fall,
Nor
will I breathe one vow
To those – to thine – I gave
them all,
And
can’t to other now.
“Valentine”
Winfield, VA - Feby: 14th 1857
Not being an expert on poetry or on the style or significance of such a poem, I asked AI Co-Pilot for a little context by asking: "What might be lost on us today in the contents of this Valentine note from 1857?"
Here is its reply.
1. This is not casual affection — it’s dangerously earnest
Victorian courtship culture treated romantic declarations as morally weighty. A note like this wasn’t “cute.” It was closer to a vow, almost a proto‑engagement gesture.
To say: “I can’t forget thee now.” was not wistful; it was binding.
He’s essentially saying: My heart is already pledged, and I cannot undo it. That level of emotional exposure would have been understood as serious, even risky.
2. The language of “fate,” “gloom,” and “darkness” is standard Victorian melodrama
To us it reads like someone being dramatic. To them, this was the expected emotional register of romantic poetry.
Mid‑century sentimental literature leaned heavily on:
fate, stars, storms, sinking ships, heaven and bliss, unpitying destiny
These weren’t exaggerations; they were the grammar of love.
3. The nautical metaphor (“my sinking prow”) was instantly recognizable
A “prow” is the forward-most part of a ship. To say it is sinking is to say:
my life is going under, I am overwhelmed, I am losing direction.
Victorian readers were steeped in maritime imagery — shipwrecks, storms, and voyages were common metaphors for emotional states.
Today, we might read it as oddly dramatic. In 1857, it was a familiar emotional shorthand.
4. “Other charms may brightly woo” is a moral statement, not just a romantic one
He’s not simply saying he’s not interested in other women. He’s declaring moral fidelity.
In that era: A man’s constancy was a measure of his character. To “breathe one vow” to another woman would be dishonorable. Declaring exclusive affection was a public claim of integrity.
This is a virtue statement, not just a love statement.
5. “Valentine” as a signature was normal — and strategic
Signing simply “Valentine” was a common practice. It allowed: plausible deniability; a socially acceptable veil of anonymity; a way to express affection without violating propriety
Courtship was heavily supervised. A man could not always openly declare interest without risking scandal. A Valentine allowed him to say what he could not say aloud.
6. The emotional arc is one of lost hope, not new love
This is not a “please love me” poem. It’s a “you were my hope, and now I am undone” poem.
He writes as someone who believes: the relationship is impossible; his life’s “star” has gone down; he is resigned to sorrow; but he remains faithful
This is the emotional register of romantic tragedy, not flirtation.
7. The setting — Winfield, VA, 1857 — adds a layer we feel but don’t name
This is pre‑Civil War Virginia. People lived with: uncertainty; economic fragility; looming national conflict; strict social codes around marriage and class
A love that could not be fulfilled was not uncommon. The poem’s fatalism would have felt realistic, not theatrical.
Well - the good news is that despite the fatalism and temporary loss of hope. Their love endured. They married in 1863 and remained married until her death in 1920 a couple months before their 57th wedding anniversary.
